Exactly Why It Feels So Hard to Stop Eating

Why does it feel so hard to stop eating, even if you understand what’s happening? 

In this episode, I explore what’s really going on in those moments where overeating feels automatic or inevitable. This isn’t just about willpower or discipline. It’s about a shift in your nervous system, and how your body tries to regulate something underneath the surface. 

I also share a personal example of how this can show up in real time, and how noticing that shift can begin to change your relationship with it. 

If this meant something to you, you might also find my other episodes on emotional eating, anxiety, and nervous system regulation helpful.

Just notice your own patterns this week. There’s nothing to fix. Just notice.

Somatic psychotherapy, emotional eating, binge eating, nervous system regulation, anxiety, cravings.

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Transcript

Why It Feels Like a Fight to Stop Eating 

Today I’m talking about why it can feel such a fight to stop yourself from eating. 

Hi, and welcome back to the Stress and Anxiety Recovery Podcast with Shelley Treacher. 

When I first started this podcast, a lot of what I talked about was binge eating and overeating. 

Over time, I became more fascinated by the nervous system and what’s actually happening in the body underneath this. 

Because what I saw, both in my work and in the research, is that this isn’t just about food. 

It is about how the body responds to stress, emotion, and perceived threat. 

This is something that a lot of people struggle with, but don’t always understand.  

Why Overeating Feels Normal in the Moment 

One of the most confusing parts of overeating is what happens in the moment itself. 

When people talk about it afterwards, they often say they felt out of control. 

But if you slow it down and look back at those moments, it feels quite normal, even automatic. 

And this is the part that makes it so hard to change. 

You might be sitting watching TV. You reach for something to eat and nothing about it feels particularly dramatic. 

There isn’t always a big emotional moment. There isn’t a clear decision. It just kind of happens. 

But somewhere along the way, something has shifted. 

And that’s often the point that people only recognise afterwards.  

What a Craving Really Is 

I’m going to share a short piece here from one of my videos that explains what’s happening in that shift. 

What’s happening here is that you’re having a craving, but not in the simple way that we think of it. 

It’s not just a thought you’re having that you could ignore.  

Your Nervous System Shifts State 

Your whole nervous system starts to shift state. 

You might feel a pull, a restlessness, a sense of urgency.  

Your Body Is Trying to Regulate Something 

What your body is trying to do is regulate something. 

It might be trying to soothe something painful, distract you from something difficult, numb you, or just bring you a sense of comfort.  

Why You Can’t Pause or Choose 

But once this shift starts happening, something important is less accessible to you. 

It’s your ability to pause, reflect, and make a good choice for yourself. 

This just isn’t available to you at that time. 

Your self-regulation isn’t at the forefront.  

It’s Not a Clear Choice Anymore 

So it’s not that you’ve gone out of control and you’re ignoring that. 

It’s that you just can’t make a clear choice for yourself. 

It feels determined, not chaotic.  

Why Stopping Feels So Difficult 

So what that’s pointing to is that this isn’t just about making a different choice. 

It’s about a change in state. 

When your nervous system shifts, your experience changes with it. 

And that includes how you think, how you feel, and what feels possible. 

So the idea of just stopping belongs to a different state than the one you are in when the urge is active.  

A Real Example of a Craving in the Moment 

I’m going to share something that happened to me recently, because this literally just happened. 

I woke up with slight migraine feelings this morning. 

And I also woke up with cravings for a particular substance, which I’m not going to name because I know how triggering it could be. 

I’ve spent all morning battling with whether to have it. 

But when I really look at that, it hasn’t been constant. 

It’s been moments, over a few hours, where the craving has come back. 

And I’m going to be honest with you, each time I thought, yeah, I’m going to go to the shop and get it. 

Fortunately or unfortunately, the migraine is stopping me from wanting to go outside. 

But when I reflect on the whole process, I want comfort. 

And I need to take it easier today. 

So it’s obvious to me that it’s not really the substance that I need. 

In fact, it is likely to make my migraine feelings worse. 

So I think I may have narrowly avoided another collision with a craving. 

I have just about stepped over the wall of “I can cope with today.” 

Knowing for absolute certain that this is how the return to binge eating happens. 

So easily, so insidiously. 

I’ll be okay without it. 

So this is another win for regulating myself instead of relying on something else outside of me. 

It’s these little things that matter. 

It’s these little tiny steps that make a huge difference in the end.  

What This Moment Shows 

And that’s the kind of moment I’m talking about.  

Why Understanding Doesn’t Always Help 

This is something people often find frustrating. 

Because they do understand what’s happening. 

They know that this is a craving. 

They know they don’t really need the food. 

But in that moment, that understanding doesn’t quite land. 

It’s almost like it’s out of reach. 

And that can feel very confusing and irritating if you’re expecting yourself to behave consistently.  

What Your Body Is Really Trying to Do 

But if you begin to see this as your body trying to regulate something, rather than you failing to control yourself, it starts to make more sense. 

Something in you is trying to shift how you feel. 

To soften something, to avoid something, or to bring a sense of relief. 

And sometimes that something isn’t obvious.  

The Subtle Feelings Underneath Cravings 

It might not feel like a big emotion. 

It might be something quieter. 

A low-level discomfort, a sense of flatness, restlessness, or just not quite feeling settled. 

And eating becomes a very quick way of changing that state.  

Where Change Actually Begins 

So instead of focusing only on stopping in the moment, it can be helpful to begin noticing these shifts earlier. 

The moments before the urge becomes strong. 

Not to fix them immediately, and not to get it right. 

But just to start recognising them. 

Because when you begin to see what your body is actually trying to do, it changes your relationship with the behaviour. 

And that is often where real change begins.  

What to Take From This 

What I talked about today was 

• how, with overeating or binge eating, it doesn’t always feel like losing control wildly at the time. It often feels normal. 
• I told you that what you’re experiencing is a craving generated in the body, not just a simple thought. 
• I spoke about how your body’s nervous system has shifted state and is trying to regulate something. 
• Then I talked about how, when this happens, it’s harder to take a moment to choose. 
• And finally, I encouraged you to start to change things by paying attention to how you feel before you eat.  

A Simple Practice to Try 

If you want to take something from this, just notice your own patterns this week. 

See if you can begin to notice that shift. 

Just notice.  

Closing 

If the things that I’ve talked about here meant something to you, you might also want to explore some of my other episodes on emotional eating, anxiety, and nervous system regulation. 

These patterns are so much more connected than they first appear. 

Thank you so much if you made it to the end here. 

This has been Shelley Treacher from the Stress and Anxiety Recovery Podcast. 

I’ll be back again next month.