Heartwarming END of YEAR Bedtime Story

Today, I encourage you to reflect on self-appreciation for the year, rather than chastising yourself for not doing well enough. I also offer you a moving end of the year story. Warning: This one might make you cry. But it will leave you feeling comforted and warm inside.

Another podcast episode for you: How Do I Stop Self-Criticism?

Citations
'The Child's Story' by Charles Dickens - Read by Shelley Treacher.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi, this is Shelly Treacher from Underground Confidence. Today I'm bringing you a end of the year podcast. Instead of making New Year's resolutions, this year I'm going to encourage you to reflect on what you've done well this year. What do you feel proud of? What have you achieved? If you look back over the year, what do you feel has happened for you? And what do you feel good about? This, I believe, is something that we should all focus on a little bit more. Instead of working out what we haven't done and what we should do better, maybe think about what you've done well. Maybe that's going to encourage you to do more of the same in the next year. I'm going to start you off. I feel quite proud of myself this year. Number one, I've more or less kicked caffeine this year with all the same skills, the same tools that I've been sharing with you. I've been becoming more mindful, not exactly in a meditative learning lessons kind of way, just more I've become more aware of who I am and what I want. This is an ongoing process. And so I know when caffeine isn't going to make me feel better, and I've been dealing with my problems, which I understand caffeine to be one of those things that I try and fix with. I've been dealing with them in a different way. I've been working out what my real issues are and finding the right solutions, rather than giving myself a boost that's going to make me feel better in the moment that actually is going to rob me of energy pretty soon in the future. Yeah, so I've become more wise, which exactly is what I'm trying to help you discover about yourself and your innate knowing. That's number one. Number two, I feel like I've become more open and friendly this year. This might be because I discovered HRT. Honestly, that has been a game changer for me, and I would put this in something I'm proud of all on its own because I feel really pleased that I've discovered that actually my hormones have been responsible for some of the misery that I've experienced. So I'm really pleased that I discovered HRT. And I'm really pleased with the results of just becoming more open and friendly and a little bit more tolerant, I would say. I have also increased my energy this year, so number three, I think I've looked after myself better this year. I've been saying no when I wanted to, and yes when I wanted to. It's taken me being quite brutally honest to myself and saying no when I felt a little bit uncomfortable about doing it, but I've done it very well this year. And it really has led to me feeling a lot better and more connected, which is a surprise. I quite honestly have forgotten what number we're on. I will put that in the credits when I get the chance. But I am also proud of having kept my cat as happy and comfortable as I possibly could. I feel like I got a second chance with my cat. She's been so seriously ill, which I know I've told you before, this year, and so I you know, I realised before how important she was and how gorgeous she is, but I tell you, I've really realised it this year. And so this year I've been spending more time with her, more fuss on her, allowing her into my life more. And I'm really pleased to say that we both seem to have benefited from this. I'm not saying that love has kept her alive. Who how will I ever know whether that's true or not? But I do feel like both of us have had a better quality of life because of this. Again, this is some version of mindfulness. Something I'm also quite pleased with is I've kept my business from the brink of destruction. This has been a tough one for a lot of people this year. It has been tougher financially, business-wise. The beginning of the year was really tough for me when the Ukraine war happened and everybody tightened their belts. But business has kept going. I am allowed to carry on. I'm really pleased about that. Thank you to anybody who has put your faith and trust in me and worked with me to the benefit of both of us. I thank you deeply from the bottom of my heart. So that's it to start you off. There have been many other things that I feel pleased with this year. I'm pleased that I kept on running and uh I managed to run about 12 and a half K, which I think is my limit for now. I don't think I want to go any further than that. And I managed to keep my health. I only had COVID this year once and didn't have any other viruses. I think that's a miracle. So there's lots of other things, lots of relationships, lots of people in my life, lots of lovely, lovely things that I've done this year. I've been to a Vivaldi concert, which was amazing. I had a lovely weekend in Mallorca with connecting with my tribe, and uh yeah, I've been really lucky in various different ways. So I'm really grateful for this year. I could have looked back on it and thought, oh, this is the year that my cat got really ill, and it was a difficult year. It was a difficult year, I'm not gonna lie. But I'm actually really pleased and feel very happy inside at the end of this year. I hope that you can do the same. I hope you can find a way to get your mind into thinking about what you have done, what you have been good at, how you can appreciate yourself at the end of this year, rather than focusing on your regrets or what you feel you haven't done or how you've been inadequate and how you hope to be better next year. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with you as you are. You've done really well this year just to get through it. So here is my final story of the year. It's a New Year story, it's kind of appropriate for New Year. The story I'm reading for you today is the child's story by Charles Dickens. Once upon a time, a good many years ago, there was a traveller, and he set out upon a journey. It was a magic journey, and was to seem very long when he began it, and very short when he got halfway through. He travelled along a rather dark path for some little time, without meeting anything, until at last he came to a beautiful child. So he said to the child, What do you do here? And the child said I am always at play. Come and play with me. So he played with that child the whole day long, and they were very merry. The sky was so blue, the sun was so bright, the water was so sparkling, the leaves were so green, the flowers were so lovely, and they heard such singing birds and saw so many butterflies that everything was beautiful. This was in fine weather. When it rained they loved to watch the falling drops and to smell the fresh scents. When it blew, it was delightful to listen to the wind and fancy what it said. As it came rushing from its home, where was that they wondered? Whistling and howling, driving the clouds before it, bending the trees, rumbling in the chimneys, shaking the house, and making the sea roar in fury. But when it snowed, that was the best of all, for they liked nothing so well as to look up at the white flakes falling fast and thick, like down from the breasts of millions of white birds, and to see how smooth and deep the drift was, and to listen to the hush upon the paths and roads. They had plenty of the finest toys in the world, and the most astonishing picture books, all about skimitas and slippers, turbans and dwarfs, and giants and genie and fairies, and bluebeards and beanstalks, and riches and caverns and forests and valentines and orsons, and all new and all true. But one day, of a sudden, the traveller lost the child. He called to him over and over again, but got no answer. So he went upon his road and went on for a little while without meeting anything, until at last he came to a handsome boy. So he said to the boy, What do you do here? And the boy said, I am always learning. Come and learn with me. So he learned with that boy about Jupiter and Juno and the Greeks and the Romans, and I don't know what, and learned more than I could tell, or he either, for he soon forgot a great deal of it. But they were not always learning. They had the merriest games that ever were played. They rode upon the river in summer and skated on the ice in winter. They were active afoot and active on horseback, at cricket and all games at ball, at Prisoners Base, Hare and Hounds, Follow My Leader, and more sports than I can think of. Nobody could beat them. They had holidays too, and twelfth cakes, and parties, where they danced till midnight, and real theatres, where they saw palaces of real gold and silver rise out of the real earth, and saw all the wonders of the world at once. As to friends, they had such dear friends and so many of them, that I want the time to reckon them up. They were all young, like the handsome boy, and were never to be strange to one another all their lives through. Still, one day, in the midst of all these pleasures, the traveller lost the boy, as he had lost the child, and after calling to him in vain, went on upon his journey. So he went on for a little while without seeing anything, until at last he came to a young man. So he said to the young man, What do you do here? And the young man said, I am always in love. Come and love with me. So he went away with that young man, and presently they came to one of the prettiest girls that ever was seen, just like Fanny in the corner there. And she had eyes like Fanny and hair like Fanny, and dimples like Fanny's. And she laughed and coloured just as Fanny does, while I am talking about her. So the young man fell in love directly, just as somebody I won't mention the first time he came here did with Fanny. Well he was teased sometimes, just as somebody used to be by Fanny. And they quarrelled sometimes, just as somebody and Fanny used to quarrel. And they made it up, and they sat in the dark and wrote letters every day, and never were happy asunder, and were always looking out for one another, and pretending not to, and were engaged at Christmas time, and sat close to one another by the fire. And were going to be married very soon. All exactly like somebody I won't mention, and Fanny. But the traveller lost them one day as he had lost the rest of his friends. And after calling to them to come back, which they never did, went on upon his journey. So he went on for a little while, without seeing anything, until at last he came to a middle-aged gentleman. So he said to the gentleman, What are you doing here? And his answer was I am always busy. Come and be busy with me. So he began to be very busy with that gentleman, and they went on through the wood together. The whole journey was through a wood, only it had been open and green at first, like a wood in spring, and now began to be thick and dark, like a wood in summer. Some of the little trees that had come out earliest were even turning brown. The gentleman was not alone, but had a lady of about the same age with him, who was his wife, and they had children who were with them too. So they all went on together through the wood, cutting down the trees and making a path through the branches and the fallen leaves, and carrying burdens and working hard. Sometimes they came to a long green avenue that opened into deeper woods. Then they would hear a very little distant voice crying Father, Father, I am another child. Stop for me. And presently they would see a very little figure, growing larger as it came along, running to join them. When it came up, they all crowded round it and kissed and welcomed it. And then they all went on together. Sometimes they came to several avenues at once, and then they all stood still, and one of the children said, Father, I am going to see. And another said, Father, I am going to India. And another Father, I am going to seek my fortune where I can. And another Father, I am going to heaven. So with many tears at parting, they went, solitary, down those avenues, each child upon its way. And the child who went to heaven rose into the golden air and vanished. Whenever these partings happened, the traveller looked at the gentleman, and saw him glance up at the sky above the trees, where the day was beginning to decline, and the sunset to come on. He saw too that his hair was turning grey. But they never could rest long, for they had their journey to perform, and it was necessary for them to be always busy. At last there had been so many partings that there were no children left, and only the traveller, the gentleman, and the lady went upon their way in company. And now the wood was yellow, and now brown, and the leaves, even of the forest trees, began to fall. So they came to an avenue that was darker than the rest, and were pressing forward on their journey without looking down it, when the lady stopped. My husband, said the lady, I am called. They listened, and they heard a voice a long way down the avenue say, Mother, mother! It was the voice of the first child who had said, I am going to heaven. And the father said, I pray not yet. The sunset is very near. I pray not yet. But the voice cried, Mother, Mother, without minding him, though his hair was now quite white and tears were on his face. Then the mother, who was already drawn into the shade of the dark avenue, and moving away with her arms still around his neck, kissed him and said, My dearest, I am summoned and I go. And she was gone. And the traveller and he were left alone together, and they went on and on together, until they came to very near the end of the wood, so near that they could see the sunset shining red before them through the trees. Yet once more, while he broke his way among the branches, the traveller lost his friend. He called and called, but there was no reply. And when he passed out of the wood and saw the peaceful sun going down upon a wide purple prospect, he came to an old man sitting on a fallen tree. So he said to the old man, What do you do here? And the old man said with a calm smile, I am always remembering. Come and remember with me. So the traveller sat down by the side of that old man, face to face with the serene sunset, and all his friends came softly back and stood around him. The beautiful child, the handsome boy, the young man in love, the father, mother, and children. Every one of them was there, and he had lost nothing. So he loved them all and was kind and forbearing with them all, and was always pleased to watch them all, and they all honored and loved him. And I think the traveller must be yourself, dear grandfather, because this is what you do to us, and what we do to you. Thank you so much for being a part of my journey. Happy New Year. If you want to help with relationship dynamics, comfort eating, or just managing your emotions, you can find me at undergroundconfidence.com. This is Shelly Treacher from Underground Confidence. I'll see you next year.